Thomas is here!

Well here is his story.

At least the start of it!!

Sunday I asked the Hubs to make us beer butt chicken again.  In the course of that we wanted to have Gigi and Poppy over to eat with us.  By the end of the day I felt lower and even heavier.  By the time we were getting into bed I confessed to E that I was a little afraid of him leaving me to work the next day.

At this point I had not really been able to sleep for long periods of time.  I woke up about 330am and I shift in bed a little and hear this thud.  It felt like when you thump a watermelon to see if its ripe.  I felt some what of a deju vu having heard the same sound when I had Clara.  So I felt around the bed and it was dry.  I decided that I was going to get up and sit at the computer to see if something becomes of the thud.  At which point I felt the trinkle of my water breaking.  I was thinking of waiting to wake up E until I felt painful contractions but, I didnt.  He still gives me hell-o dolly for not waking him sooner with Clara...lol

So E leaves to go get his friends daughter to keep an eye on the kids (who are still sleeping) until GiGi could come.  Then we head to Tampa General.

Once I was changed into my lovely hospital clothing and laid on the bed the a big lot of my water gushed out.  I still felt no painful contractions.

It took hours for that to happen.  But once they happened it happened fast.

When I had Clara I planned on having the pain med's but since there was no time...I had her natural.  After having her I was ready to go home.  I was walking around talking and the what nots.  I wanted to recover much faster again with Thomas.  That is if I didnt have to have an emergency c-section.

So I wanted to stick out the pain of the contractions.  I knew that once it got really bad that meant I was out of time and had to stick with no pain med's.

My poor hubs.  Once I knew it was time to push they took what felt like forever to get to the room.  I was shaking so bad.  E was so worried about me.

Eventually it was time to push.  Now after having him Clara was truly a piece of cake...

I thought the contractions were painful..it was nothing like pushing him out.  That was not what I expected.  what stunk was being told to wait and not push and then push. I just wanted to push him out!!

It felt like forever but it was really only a few minutes at Thomas finally arrived at 1:24pm.  No C-section and no pain meds!!

And woah was he a big boy!! 9lb 5 oz big.  I cant help but giggle when I hold him and admire him.  He is a chubby baby!  I love it.

So far he is an angel.  Soft cries and a big sleeper.  I dont see him giving us issues learning to sleep through the night!

Clara loves him.  She wont let anyone touch him but me.  Hailey wants to squeeze his cheeks.  Ryu actually talked to him for a good while.  I think he is a happy camper that he finally has a brother.  The twins are curious of him.

Where o Where could little Thomas be??

I never thought I'd be carrying Thomas as long as I have.  I am ready to meet him!  Yesterday was my due date.  And there is no signs of having him anytime soon!!

But I am comfortable.  I am not yet feeling that "im so tired of being pregnant" feeling and I think after being pregnant with twins I have learned a different type of patience.  I went into labor on my own with Clara and the twins (twice).  I think that had to do with the feeling I felt mentally.  I knew I was going to have Clara on that day.  Mostly bc I was being induced.  With the twins I didnt think I would last and each day I carried them was a hardship in its own.  I felt like I would have them at any time of each day.  I havent felt none of that with Thomas.  I just sort of wake up and I think well its not going to be today...

I have tried a few of the tips you read on inducing labor naturally.  None have worked.  I am not ready to try the oil's or tea's.  I am just not ready to be in labor and need to go poo...lol  But today I will try going to the acupuncturist again.  (thanks to my MIL)  I tried it for the first time last week and it was pretty neat to experience.  I can say that through out this pregnancy I have had this hip tail bone pain and after seeing the acupuncturist I havent felt that pain.  After seeing her the first time, I did feel a difference.  I have contractions all day long but I feel like im over exaggerating calling them contractions.  There is no pain to them.  So after going to the acupuncturist I felt the contractions much stronger but it still wasnt painful. So today I will get to go again!  I am hoping for a bigger difference.

Since I had a c section with the twins I very likely could have another c section.  But I would rather have Thomas as a VBAC.  But I was told I could not be induced because it could rupture my uterus.  So unless I can go into labor on my own Ill be able to have him VBAC otherwise c section again.  Either way there is still a lot of risk having a baby after having a c section.  I try not to do to much research on the topic otherwise i'd be overwhelmed when I do get to meet my little boy.

But here I am past my due date waiting on his arrival.  I know it wont be much longer until I get to meet him.  If the acupuncturist appointment doesnt do it this time, then I have an appointment on the 21st.  At which point they will see if my cervix is soft and what they maybe able to do to kick start the labor and if they dont see a chance of that happening Ill be on the books for a c section.  If they have room it will be the same day and if not within a few days of it.

Not only this but this baby I know will be the biggest baby I have had yet.  Being that I had all but the twins at  39 weeks and they were all a little over 7lb.  Today I would not be surprised if Thomas was 8lb or extremely close to it.  And If I dont have him until the 21st he could very well be nearing 9lb!

Halloween!

So here I am sitting at home with Scream 4 on.  Well I recorded it to watch later.  Its lame.  I cant find myself to sit and watch it but I left it on the tv and came to sit at the computer.

Its just me and Diesel and the twins are alseep.

Where is everyone else!?!?

Trick or Treating!  Oh how I wish I could go too.

But 38 + weeks pregnant and walking door to door isnt in the works for me!

Im happy to say that I at least got to contribute to the costumes.  E was able to get me some red and black fabric and I made Ryu's Vampire Cape!

But E had to put his touch in it too.  I wanted the cape to have the bat wing type too it.  He drew that on the fabric for me and I was really not good at pinning this on Ryu.  Lets say that Dad to the rescue was able to get the kids all ready for trick or treating.  I got Clara dressed and the big kids dressed themselves.  I put Haileys hair up Dad got Clara's hair up.  Then Dad spray colored everyone's hair and did Ryu's face up!  Its not that easy doing much but watching with my big o belly in the way!

Things for Thomas

So I have meant to write a blog about this.  But ill blame it on pregnancy forgetfulness.  Bc every time I looked at my blog I couldnt remember what it is I wanted to write!

It wasnt that long ago I was telling E, we dont have much for Thomas's arrival.  We need to start thinking about this.  We need to at least get one or two onies and  a back of diapers!!

Now no sooner did I mention this, we started to get a few things from our family and friends and even an unexpected person all the way in New Mexico!

I have a good lot now in New Born, and 0-3MO and one to two in each month for his first year!  I also got some diapers!  I got one box of size 1 from my sister and GiGi gave us a pack of NB.  SOO glad we have those things.  I am less worried about that part of Thomas's needs!

AS you could tell from another blog I wrote, I made him several blankets.  I made a crochet blanket, 3 receiving blankets and a plain Jane flannel.

AND in a long story short. The blanket I made for Clara I purchased to many yarn to add to the ends.  So this weekend when the Flannel was on MAJOR sell, I was able to take that back and get some more flannel.  I wanted to make some burp cloths.  I made them 18in x 9in.  They pretty much look like a dish towel.  I have seen some with the rounded part but I may attempt this later on!  Yeah they happen to be skulls.  What can I say.  This fits Daddy's personality!  But I can tell you once you get past the part of another skull addition it just fits.  I know some see it as a bad thing.  AND you may look down on it.  But thats ok.  Its your opinion and thats that.  PLUS it will be awesome for Thomas.  They say black and white for babies is easiest for your baby to look at and thus will capture his attention.

FUN facts about vision : http://www.babycenter.com/0_developmental-milestones-sight_6508.bc

I also decided I'd try out making a diaper bag.  It was fun making it!  But im definitely not good at enough to make this for someone else.  But I know the more I make the better it will become!

Clara is 2

I have an official 2 year old in the house!!

Saturday Clara turned 2 and we were also able to celebrate with family and friends on this day as well.  It went great we had no complications leading up to the party it went smoothly.  Except by the time it was party time I had to sit on my butt and enjoy the view!  I know I had to have been completely out of it too.

The morning started out with the Hubs and Ryu off to the store to get the things we needed for the food for the party!  Hailey and I cleaned house a little and she took her bath and I braided her hair while the boys were gone.  Once the boys came back Ryu and Hailey helped me crack eggs and stir batter for the cake.  Then the hubs and I put all the sides together for the hot dogs!

As people arrived he started up the grill and grilled the hot dogs and we all ate hot dogs.  I had got to try out different kinds of hot dogs as I have only had chili and cheese hot dogs!!  So that was fun.  After which it was present time!

Clara made out.  She got some fabulous things.  She was ready to play with the first gift that she opened she seemed unsure of setting it aside to open more but she got the hang of it.  So now my big girl has so big kid toys and some new duds to wear and show off!

She weighs 26lbs and is 34 inches tall!!  She also got her up to date shots today so I expect her to be crabby pants..which im sure will all change the moment her Daddy is home...total daddys girl!!

School

So this week we had our first parent teacher conference with both the big kids!  I could not wait to hear what their teachers were going to tell us.  Not just the positive but the things I can do to help them from home.

Hailey was the first one up. Of course her teacher adores her.  She is such a little helper.  She said she wished she had 20 more of her in the class.  She basically said she had a rough class.  Hailey tells me that her teacher needs some quiet time sometimes.  I can tell from Hailey that she is having to disciplined the kids a lot.  I feel for the kinder teachers.  Its the first year for the kids and not all parents teach there kids to respect others/adults. Any who she says that my Hailey is a great help and keeps others on there toes and sometimes tells others when they arent listening to instructions to listen or they're gonna get in trouble.  As far as things to work on.  She is right on spot of where she needs to be and we can help with some activities to ensure her knowing her ABC upper and lower and the sounds.  The meeting with her teacher was short and sweet.

Now to my Ryu. He has two teachers they both were present for the conference.  Im glad they did it together I had imagined having to wait to see both.  I cant even tell you in words how happy I was to hear the things they had to say.  They both agreed that every year they have at least one student they will not forget and they both feel like Ryu will be one student they wont forget.  They said that Ryu will stand up for himself and others but not to think he is picked on he has plenty of friends.  That at first they had to figure out how to work with him and his creativity side.  He loves to build things, draw and even will be reading in class when its not time too.  They have figured away to still let him do this plus what he is suppose to do.  She said that they tell him that if he does it correctly that he has 2 minutes free time afterwards that he can draw, read, ect.  His reading teacher told us that he is right where he needs to be with reading and in fact that she was going to move him to a group of above level reading. (AWESOME!)  She said you can definitely tell that we are working on reading at home.  That his only draw back with the reading area is..(here is something we will work on at home!) That when they ask him what he read he can verbal explain in great detail about it but when he comes to writing it down he is not the best at it.  His math/science teacher says he is doing great in those area.  That in math he is one of the few ahead of the game.

A few stories they shared of Ryu.

One of the kids in his class told Ryu he should be a lawyer.  That the reasoning of thinking this was because he stands his ground.  He lets others know when they arent doing right.  Another story, they have a behavior chart sent home daily.  They have 3 levels of positive.  good day, great day, and awesome day! He has usually got the middle and a few awesome days.  Last week he was aiming to get all Awesome Days.  (which he did)  One day the teacher was putting the great day down and Ryu tells her nooooO!  And gets her the white out for her to put awesome day.  She did say that she actually meant to put that one day as awesome anyways for him.

Im one proud mother.  My children strive to do there best and im proud of my babies for working so hard to get where they are right now.

Birthday FUN

So I turned 29 last week.  One more  year in my 20's!!  I remember and im sure everyone has experienced this.  BUT I remember being younger being excited about being a grown up!  Here I am and I have to remind myself that I am considered an adult now and im a mom!

On Monday I received one of many gifts.  I got a beautiful card from my little big sister!  Stacey sent me a cherishable card and $$ to go towards my JoAnn's fabric shopping spree!


Tuesday morning we were off to JoAnn's.  The flannel is more then half off and such a variety.  I was able to get enough to make 3 receiving blankets for Thomas.  A regular blanket and enough yarn to make a crochet blanket for Thomas.  I felt like this crochet blanket was even more special because of the type of yarn I was able to get.  One summer that I was in CA with my Auntie we were on a JoAnn's run.  She found this purple yarn on sale and said it had to be Hailey's blanket.  So I have this vivid memory of working on this blanket in CA.  Hailey still adores this blanket nearly 6 years later.  I have often searched for this type of yarn everywhere I've gone and I have never found it.  Of course being at JoAnn's I found it again (different color) and on sale as well.  So while making this blanket feeling the yarn in my fingers I felt taken back to a memory stored.  And anytime spent with my aunt is a memory to cherish.  I hope to find different colors to make for each of the kiddos one day. 

I also was able to get enough material to make my Clara a wubbiez blanket (which was posted in a blog before this one).  Now we call it this bc if my memory is correct my Auntie made my cousins daughter's these blankets that are super soft and silky that they called wubbie.  So I made a version of it.

 

Later that day I got a delivery of an awesome bigger crock pot from my Auntie.  Being that we have a bigger family to feed I was in the need of a bigger crock pot!  So now im on the hunt for other great crock pot recipes!

I also got me a gift card from my MIL to amazon which is even more awesome, since I have a lot of books I want to read that come out next month!

The day after my birthday my MIL came over with a groupon for us to use and I got to eat out on a date with the Hubs!  Even more of a bonus my babies got to spend time with there GiGi.  Which they always end up talking about for days afterwards.

I also got this neat gift set from my little sister of burts bee's stuff.  I've never tried them out before and have always wanted to but just never got stuff before.

All in all I got lots of birthday texts/calls/ and FB post from all my friends and family that made it even more special knowing I was thought of.

Clara

I can tell  you that I have the most absolute fun watching Clara grow.  She has such a personality and I can tell you a few hilarious stories and I can tell you that not all of them were funny at first..lol

I find it fun to see her go through stages I know.  That are more familiar territory.  Right now she is in one of those stages where you should throw away her plate bc it will be eaten even hours after served!

I love hearing her voice and the things that she says.
 "thats cool!"
 "awh cute"
"pretty hair"
"are  you ok?"
"ow that hurt"
"ew thats gross"
"stop it dad/mom"
"baby crying"
"mMm thats good"
"come here"
"thats hot"
"thats funny"

So she is pretty much with a set of vocabulary these days.  I know that im not even close to mentioning all her little words but those were my  favorite.

I adore hearing her sing "let it go" when we have the movie Frozen on.

Not so fun stages that thankfully we are over the hill on; not being able to communicate.  And with that comes other ways of doing so.  Pushing and hitting.  Im glad she is finding her words so we have less of the physical talk.

Plus she is kind of bossy too.  When Im telling one of the twins not to do something she makes sure that they heard me and tells them no too and if they dont stop she makes them.  BUT she loves her sisters too.  I cant count how many times she hugs and kisses the girls, gives them snacks or sippy cups and toys to play with.  She loves to tickle them too.  She finds it funny when they laugh bc she is tickling them.

Although I thought she'd talk more about Hailey and Ryu when they arent home while they are at school.  But she doesnt.  But when they are home she follows them into each room trying to do as they do.  So you can say she likes her "me time"

Im surprised the big kids havent addressed how she is spoiled in away.  She gets to stay up much later then them.  She has to have her Daddy time.  Late night cartoons and a sweet or two.    You can definitely tell when she is tired.  She wines for her daddy and once she is in his arms she is passed out within seconds.  I love her relationship she has with her daddy.  It is something special to witness.  Im afraid it wont last much longer as the twins will want to get there Daddy time too.  Every once in awhile though one will wake up when everyone else is fast asleep..except Daddy and Ill hear one of the girls with daddy.

Lastly I should be posting this closer to her birthday being that she is not to far off from turning 2!  But I couldnt resist and the words flowed easily of her as of late.  I was able to make this sweet angel another blanky.  Lets say that any and all blankets she likes she chews a hole in it to be able to get a string o ut of it and she loves to fall asleep twirling the string.  So I decided to try to make her something with string for her to twirl so she doesnt have to chew one out! Daddy picked the colors and patter to it and she already loves it.  Although again I was going to try and wait giving it to her until her birthday but....

ALl our adventures as of late

Where do we start?!?

School has started its 3rd week this week.  First week went amazing.  Hailey started Kinder this year.  Ryu started 2nd grade.  Ryu is all cool cat attitude its school woohoo mom..And Hailey she loves it she is thrilled.  I am thrilled.  I actually get to hear all about her day.  Ryu always tells me its school we do the same thing everyday.  She tells me all sorts of stories.

I have heard about these kids who are bad.  I have heard of a boy wanting her to be his sister.  About a girl in love with her Hailey who the teacher said she'd stop talking until she was done playing with Hailey's hair.

Monday of the 2nd week of school didnt go as planned.  My sweet girl told me she felt sick in her tummy.  I told her she could stay home.  I knew she really wanted to go so with her telling me this I knew she wasnt feeling good.  Soon after the toilet was her second home.  By the 2nd day of not being able to keep food or liquids down Daddy and I started to get worried and took her to the ER for dehydration.  She stayed in the hospital for 2 days with an IV to help get her some liquids.  They told Dad that she was very close to getting life threatening and how she basically did that to herself by not drinking and eating.  Since the hospital trip she has eating more food then I have ever seen her eat!

Yesterday she seemed just as thrilled but equally tired.  Needless to say I am going to try to get her to bed a little sooner!

In between school we have celebrated the twin's first birthday!!  I feel like Ethan and I have truly been blessed with our twins.  Although it seems like I hear of a lot of others having twins these days but I have also heard of so many having issues and some that dont make it to there first birthday.  It seemed like a rocky start with them and having some breathing re flux issues but im glad that didnt last long and we have two beautiful health 1 year old girls!!  We had a lovely party at the house with family and friends.  I adore the party type gatherings.  It feels more at home to be around ppl that we love.  If I could find a reason to get together like that more then once a month I'd do it!  The party was even better then I had imagined it to be.

And then lastly E and I found out today we are finally getting a little boy!  Im so excited that he and I get to raise another boy after all these girls in the house!  I cant wait to see him grow and see how much he looks like his dad.  Lets face it im going to have a ladies man!  Plus I am also thrilled to have a son carry on his daddy's last name.  Now to back up old baby clothes that are bows and pink and make room for the blues and greens!!!!!!!!

crazy lady thoughts

Do you ever have those moments where your so tired you think you could sleep but then you end up laying in bed thinking of things..Yup having one of those moments.  And who knows how I ended up on this trail of thoughts.  But I thought Instead of saying all this in my head I should blog it.  

I decided I felt sorry for the few guys I talked/text or even dated while I was on the road to divorce with Justin.  In all honesty I should have never dated or talked to anyone right after he left us.  But I also told myself I'll be damned if I sit around feeling sorry for myself or letting him think that him leaving that I couldnt have moved on without him.

Im sorry to those that end up reading this that were one of those guys. I may have wanted to date or move on but I was no where ready for it.

Ill admit I had several guys I text throughout all those months.  I can say 90% of them I never actually left my house with our went out on dates with.  But I loved the attention I got and it was such a distraction.  With all my distractions you were lucky to be one of the guys if I actually talked on the phone with you.  For many reason.  I could be myself in a text or fb message but to admit it out loud was a hard thing for me to do.  At least with a text it wouldnt be a big deal to see the response but thinking about having to hear it was scary for me.  I was to afraid to hear if all the bad things about myself would be accepted.  And if you didnt want to text then I didnt have anything to really do with you.  

There was this one boy..however.  He hated to text and never gave up trying to call me.  I'd say after 10-20 times of calling I'd answer about 1 time.  But each time was reassuring.  But no matter what in my eyes there would never be an us.  This boy of mine was someone I grew up knowing.  He dated all of those girls that you wished you were.  He may have been a crush of mine but never did I ever think he would look at me in that way.  So I still saw it that way.  Plus I had been in one of those long distant relationship before and it didnt end well.  I didnt want to take a chance at a long distant relationship when I was still hurting from the end of a marriage.  

So I would forever only see (obviously not) us as only friends.  Which was safe for me.  When I would answer the phone to him hours would go by.  Mostly it would be him who would talk.  He has such stories to tell of the things he has done or been through.  Eventually he would get me to tell more about the things I've been through.  Which I thought would be hard but it wasnt.  I was safe.  It didnt matter what he thought about all the bad things about me.  It didnt matter bc we were only ever going to be friends.  I thought almost every girl has a best guy friend and he'd be mine.  I ended up telling him everything.  Even things I knew inside but couldnt admit to myself out loud or even things I wouldnt say to my own family ( I was to afraid to hear them say I was stupid for missing Justin and how he doesnt care) I'd tell him those things and instead of hearing what I was afraid of hearing he would tell me : of course you do, you have 2 kids with him you were in a relationship with him for nearly 8 years I dont expect any less.

Every girl (I assume) has this wall that they build and I'd never let anyone in.  It was always going to be this way.  Then, I started answer the phone to him all the time everyday, every night.  I was beginning to think that this was amazing.  Having a best friend as a guy and wondering why I never had one before.

I told him that I could only be friends, I told him about the guys I dated.  I even tried to get him to talk about girls he liked or wanted to date.  But I soon realized that to him I was just as pretty as any of those girls he dated and distance meant nothing to him.  I soon saw that he loved me.  At first I panicked.  But just as soon as I panicked I realized I was just as much in love with him.  I couldnt see myself without him.  I couldnt see a night I'd fall asleep without listening to him on the phone each night.

It was then that he taught me something about relationships.  Being in a relationship with your best friend is one of the ways to have a lasting relationship.  Look for friendship instead of a relationship.  Be you.  Show all of you.  The bad and the good.  Not to be afraid to show the bad because if they are the "one" then it will be them that helps you be better.  Never let that person change who they are and accept all of them for who they are.

Days will come and go.  Great times and hard times.  There will be many days where there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.  BUT for me those days will be ok.  Why..bc it maybe dark but he'll be holding my hand all along the way.

So ya in case you didnt guess I married that boy.  He gave me his last name.  He became the father figure to my 2 older kids and I got to give him a few more!

baking fun

Growing up my sister and I would usually have pita bread with butter just about each morning while we were visiting in California.  So I can never find them.  I decided well Ill just make them!  But I also decided I'd make them into a pizza too!

Turned out super yummy!  Such an easy thing to make too.

Then I decided that the kiddos are on such a snack fix that I needed to come up with some snacks.  So I've made Cheerio Crunch Mix and Marshmallow Cereal bars.

Fun days

We have had a great last few days!  On the 4th we went over to his Uncle's house and ate some tasty food and cake.  After that we went to watch fireworks.  They had a few vendors out there and of course they had kettle popcorn.  My newest addiction.  Ok all because of my mom, a couple years ago she helped put together an event that had kettle popcorn.    It was a memory in the making. I adored hearing Clara's squeels and wow's on the fireworks.  Hailey kept telling me the ones she liked the most and that were pretty.  Ryu was quiet and seemed zoned out into the fireworks!

Yesterday we again got to spend time with the Cluff's.  His Uncle took us to my first baseball game.  We took a bus to the game.  It was awesome!  Oh and I have to mention with my MIL out of town a friend of hers kept ALL 5 of our kiddos.  Thanks to her we were able to enjoy watching the Ray's.  We went to hang out with his cousin and his fiance for a few drinks before the game started and then I got to see what it was all about.  Much cooler in person.  I loved seeing how cool the team worked together.  It was unreal seeing how well they worked together as a team.  They were totally in-sink. They lost.  About half way through the game it seemed they just lost the will.  But it was still very neat to watch and have my handsome hunk explain it all to me.  It will be a night I cherish and never forget.

Skyler's quilt

I finished this one up a lot faster then I did Gemma's, but that maybe because I had already had all the pinks and blacks cut out!  Plus this one had no real pattern so I didnt have to make sure I was sewing it in the right order!  I also decided I wanted the flowers to be bigger.  I know that they already love them.  As I was sewing on the flowers Skyler came and started to play with it.  So did Gemma when I was making hers.  Clara even thinks these are hers.  Looks like I need to make her a newer one.  Bigger!  Like for a twin when she gets to be in a bigger bed.  I am so glad Gigi has these for me to make.  I loved keeping myself busy making these.  Plus I have an amazing Husband who went to JoAnn's a few times for me to get buttons for the flowers. Not many men will do that for his lady.  I am one lucky gal!

Here I am starting out with sewing the squares together.

                                                                    Close up of flower 

The finished product

Gemma's Quilt

^ all finished

Closer shot

Before flowers

 front/back

The start and the flowers before I attach!

So GiGi bought the materials of the colors I wanted for the girls.  Lately I've been really craving things to do with my hands.  I wanted to sew and I wanted to crochet.  E's mom bought the material before the girls were born.  She had idea's of making this quilt herself.  But with the way things have gone with working and the what nots she wasnt able to work on it yet.  So she instead gave the material to me since I was in desperate need of a project!  Thanks to GiGi I have one quilt done and one to go!

The twins

I should have known from the beginning something was very different.  I can blame that on pregnancy brain.  But it shouldnt have been as a surprise when the tech told us we were expecting two instead of one.  It made complete sense the way I felt with my body.  I feel silly for not having figured this out sooner!  When you are nearing the end of a pregnancy you just feel it in your body.  Not only are you ready to start this life with your new borns but you feel it in your body too.  I felt that way about half way through carrying the twins.  It was hard on me.  I felt so tired, it was a lot of work for me to take a shower!  Now that I have had the girls I wish I could have kept them cooking a little longer.  But my body was giving out on me and said I had to have them when I did.

I say that I wished that they had cooked longer, just because of the scares I had with them with there reflux breathing issues in the beginning.  I was scared of losing them it was something I was not prepared for.  But the girls are fighters and over came there breathing issues!

I am now days away from the girls turning 10 months old!  They are such a joy to watch grow.  People still ask if they are identical or fraternal, to me and there daddy its so clear that they are not identical.  But I suppose if you were around them more then a day you would begin to notice that too.

Having twins, well I still feel the same as I did when they first came home. I just have to do everything twice, which means It takes me twice as long to do anything with them then it would with just one.  I love finding them off playing or even looking for me to be in the same room as me.  I am not sure if I am ready for them to start there walking.  But im also looking forward to seeing what it brings!

Im to scared to go out alone with all of the kids.  The most I do is walk to pick Ryu up from his school. I have Hailey pushing Clara in a stroller and me pushing the twins in there stroller.  I know for awhile it will be even harder with them even more curious when they start walking.  It maybe in between the ages of 2-3 that I know that they will listen and not run off at the first sight of something interesting.  I cant even do a doctors visit by myself.  You know those rooms are to small to fit all 5 kids in a room.  Plus I could not carry the twins I'd have to have them and Clara in a stroller, which means even less room in the patient room at Doctors office.  So im so grateful that I have a husband that is there for me in the things I cant do alone!

Clara

Clara, I love her little personality. She is much more of a handful then my bigger two were at her age.  But I love that about her.  I love seeing her phases.  When she started to be more loving.  Giving hugs and kisses saying "aww".  She started noticing her baby sisters, giving them hugs or even pulling "no no's " out of there mouths and putting bottles or sippy's in there mouth!  She cracks me up when you pull her arm up to tickle and then when you stop she puts her arm back up so you can tickle her again!

Since switching her from crib to toddler bed, I have never been good at doing her afternoon naps.  She would never stop her pace to lay down to take one.  So she takes her naps with mommy.  Sometimes she is just tired to where she takes me by the hand to the bed and we lay together until she falls asleep.  Other days all I have to do is hum to her the ABC's and she falls straight to sleep.  I adore nap times with her.

Every once in awhile she gets sat in a high chair and every time after she finishes I am happy to have her at the table.  She can gets so messy!  Food all over her face hands chest and hair!!!  Although she makes a mess on the table and the floor its no where near what the mess she gives in a high chair.

I feel so blessed that she looks so much like her daddy.  I cant get over how beautiful she is because of her mirror image of her daddy.  She doesnt know it yet.  But she holds the key to her daddy's heart.  He adores her.  He does so much to help me raise her.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that he is real.  That this is what a daddy is suppose to be.  I didnt get to have the help I do with her with my big two kids and I didnt get that from my own Dad or Step Dad's.  (not that they were bad dad's)

Hailey

My Sassy pants.  I cant believe how much she has grown.  My first girl.  She has a hard time with things when she was little.  She had a lot of people in and out of her life and I was the only consistent person there for her.  Which caused her a harder time and she just didnt want to get close to anyone.  She would hold her elbow over her face to keep you from talking to her.  While E and I had started to date, she constantly talked to him over the phone and when he visited and stayed she had no problem opening up with her.  They became partners in crime.  I feel because of him she started to open up and let ppl in and talk with others.

She is IMO more mature in ways then others her age.  Seems like either kids are older then her or much younger then her, that we are around.  She ends up playing or talking around us adults (wow weird to refer to us as adults!!)  She is a mother hen to her younger sisters.  Always talking or singing to them when they are crying.  Picking them up or taking things they shouldnt have.  Sharing or making sure they have snacks when she does.

She could live off of fruit.  She is the slowest eater in our house. She could take hours to eat.

I am not looking forward to her starting Kindergarten this fall.  I was ok with Ryu going but Hailey I will miss terribly.  It will be just me, Clara and the twins at home this fall.  I know it will be fun for us girls but I know I will be counting down the time until they are both home from school!!

Ryu

I have such a love for my children.  I love each of them dearly.  I am thankful each day for my little loves.  I may not know what I'd go to college for and I have always wondered if and when I get a degree what it would be for, but I've always known I have wanted to be a mother.

Ryu, my first born.  I am amazed at the person is becoming.  When he was little he loved to be naked and didnt need a friend to play with and he even didnt need to see me in the same room at all times (like my others have)

When his dad and I separated he became a handful. When i'd tell him not to do something, he would get angry ball up his fist and yell at me.  I was at such a loss.  I didnt know what to do or how to help him over come all of his frustration.  A lot of people saw this struggle and no one was able to get through to him.  The person I give credit to helping him was my mom.  Grandma has always been loving and really never getting on to the kids and for grandma to lay the law down surprised Ryu and she told him how much I loved him and how much it hurt for him to treat me that way.  After that day he became better.  It was when Ethan came into there lives providing structure and guidance in away I have never been able to do for them.

Ryu has helped me over come my fears of letting him go.  Ok well letting him go to school and not be so paranoid.  It was hard dropping him off at school not seeing him being secure in a class room.  I've seen all the kids and how easily you could get lost and it overwhelmed me.  He assures me that he is ok and not to worry so much about that.

I see such a smart side of him.  He surprised me at how fast he is able to catch on to the new things he is learning.  I however have seen him get so frustrated.  I am blessed to have Ethan.  When I dont seem to be able to help Ryu understand something and I give up Ethan comes in and talks to him and helps him understand what I cant.

I absolutely love to read.  It has always been a passion for me since I was Ryu's age.  I can only hope that all of my children learn to love to read too.  I know and have seen the struggles of others that do not read very well or understand the things  they read.  I can only hope that Ryu keeps up his love for reading.  It surprises me how excited he gets over the new books he gets.

My Ryu can be emotional sometimes.  I think he is still trying to under how to show what he is feeling.  But because of this he has a want to please you.  In a lot of ways I see good from this but I know it will also be something that causes him to struggle when he gets older.  He tries to say what you want to hear and doesnt always say what he feels because he doesnt want you to get hurt.

Ryu has gone from being such a picky eater to being one of our best eaters in the house!  Some days I see him being a typical boy and eating a lot more then what I expect.

There was a time when we struggled with listening to the rules but he has become such a respectful boy. In this I wish I had more words to describe how well he is behaved.  The other day I told him if he wanted to eat his breakfast bar in the living room he could.  He told me he couldnt.  He didnt want to get dad upset with him.  I had already forgotten how E had told the kids no more snacking in the living room.  (totally gross mess under the couch lots of crumbs).  Or how we have a new rule of bring us the movie they are done watching to get a new one.  We have had a problem with leaving disks laying around and even Clara getting a hold of them like a toy.  He has been very good at bringing them back to us.

I can see a wonderful young man that he is going to be and it scares me to death.  Why...?  Bc one day I am going to lose having him home.  One day he is going to grow up and have a family of his own and the idea of me not getting to see him all of the time breaks my heart!  But I know within this,  there is nothing I can do to stop time and with him growing I will get to experience pure joy from him and me showing and feel so proud of him and the man is going to be.

Ok so I totally intended to write an entire blog on all 5 of my children and I some how was able to write an entire blog of just one of my joys.so until the next one!

blog thoughts turn sour

So here it is.  I havent really blogged in forever and when I do its small or has become a blue moon kind of thing.  I have thought of lots of things to write.  But nothing that was happy fun.  When I think of things to share I have a sour thought put to it.

What I mean is...well weeks maybe a few months back ppl started to plan my High School 10th reunion.  Well I felt bummed.  I knew E and I wouldnt get to go.  I want to be there and be apart of it and then a thought hit me.  Why?  I didnt like High School like a lot of ppl did.  I feel sorry for myself because part of me realizes that the reason a lot of ppl cherished there days in High School is because they made it that way.  They made sure to make the memories and do things to experience.  I did not.  I hated it. I couldnt get out of High School fast enough.  I was just there to do my school work and be done with it.  Lets face it I enjoyed my elementary days much better.  I had many friends that I talked to in the halls or in the classroom but none of them were enough to do something outside of school.  Kind of like how FB is I can have hundreds of friends but there just my FB talk to friends.  So I thought why would I want to go..I am sure no one will even remember who I am.  I never did anything that was big enough to impact someone for them to remember me.  I know for some its to show off how big there diamond is or how fancy there car is and how much they still look stunning.  If I went it would be just to show off how I married the best man anyone could ever dream of having.  Plus if any and maybe a lot would remember who he was one of the biggest crushes everyone in the elementary to JR high days had.  Just the thought of him talking to you would make you weak at the knees.  Yup I got him and even better he actually loves me and treats me like a dream.  SIGH yeah I am married to him, Ethan Thomas Huchton.  (I was just telling him how I am spoiled that after 4 years of being in a relationship I still get told im beautiful just about everyday).

So see I thought I better stick to not posting for awhile because I had a feeling no one really wanted to know my bitterness of certain things in life.  Dont worry these thoughts didnt cause my day to be sour too.  All I have to do is think of this wonderful man I married and all of our beautiful amazing kids and what joy they bring us and those negative thoughts slip away!

my girls getting to be to big

Many changes in the last few days...

I have thought lately how Clara was getting to be a big girl and needed to learn how to eat at a table instead of her high chair.  But in my mind she was still to little to sit at the big table and needed one for just her size.  But then it was time to eat so she would sit in her high chair and the table thoughts were for another day.  One day I decided to get Clara to sit at the big table for a snack.  To my surprised she fit just fine.  She hasnt mastered getting down just yet.  But noo she cant be getting this big..

E had been telling me for  awhile that he wanted to test out how Clara would do in a toddler bed.  I just didnt want to hear this either.  I kept thinking I am not ready for the days of having to walk her to her room and tell her to go to bed 500 million times.  To both mom and dad's surprise Clara has picked this up wonderful.  Not as challenging as I thought.  But then again its only been 2 days!!

And now I have two girls crawling around my house.  All over the house.  I am not ready for the girls to be getting bigger.  NOT at all.  This is crazy seeing them crawl.  I dont know if I will ever get use to these kids growing on me.

My babies growing.

The twins are on a roll with there milestones.  Of course once it start it just seems like one after the other on the milestones.

Most of all the milestones are from Skyler.  Gemma doesnt take but a week or so following Skyler.  Skyler likes to help me feed her.  Grabs my hand and guides the spoon to her mouth.  Skyler has a better grip on holding her bottle on her own, Gemma can do it to she just isnt as strong so she cant hold it for long before it slips. All in one week Skyler went from grabbing the railings to the crib to half sitting to full sitting.  We have a big girl sitting on her own now!  But with Skyler progressing as such she also starting a new habit.  Since she thought it was cool to pull herself up on the rails she thinks its cool to use Gemma to push up on too.  Sometimes grabbing her by the hair to keep her balance and even worse pushing her head into the mattress where poor Gemma had a smoother me cry.  Skyler did this so much that after a few days of constantly pulling Skyler off of Gemma and pushing them as far away from each other as possible, we decided it was time.  The girls slept separately for the first time last night!

I felt so sad for them.  Gemma not having her snuggle buddy anymore.  But in all honestly I think it was me who was more sad!  Gemma LOVED it.  She was moving all around the crib and trying to pull herself up on the railings and very entertained.  Skyler she didnt like it at first.  But she ended up realizing all the room she had and soon got to entertaining herself too.  Usually about once and sometimes none at all one of the girls wakes up just wanting the covers pulled back on them.  Not a peep.  They even slept in a little longer and woke up entertaining themselves again.

So there you have it.  My girls are growing on me.  It will be so weird to see them walking around I just see them as babies!!

A little here and a little there

E and I have such an awesome relationship.  I cant tell you how many times at least once a month or so we end up in a flour fight.  Hehe our neighbor had to ask E if he had been painting.  I got him good!  And of course sometimes a little splash of water in the face, sometimes he gets me back and sometimes he just loves me enough not to soak me back hehe.  Sometimes you need those less serious moments!

E having fun on Ryu's Bday gift from us (ezy rider)





In one of the book series I just finished up the girl basically was going through somethings that made me think to myself to try to live more by.  We all have things and places we want to go in life, but we need to remember not to take anyone down or walk over them to get there.  It just doesnt feel as good when you finally get to where you wanna be.  Not that I walk over people to get where I want to be, but I want to be more considerate of others.

During dinner time, I had Ryu, Hailey, Clara chowing down, while I feed my Gemma baby.  While I was feeding Gemma I kept hearing this giggle, singing sound.  Usually when Clara has woken up for the day or from a nap she does this.  I had asked E to get Clara set up for dinner while I was feeding Gemma, and I thought man I could have sworn he got her in the high chair.  I look around and there she is.  Then I think man either the kids have the tv on or E is watching something that creepily sounds like Clara.  Then it dawned on me.  It was my Skyler!  She was just entertaining herself until it was her turn for dinner!  

So since getting netflix back in our house, the hubs and I started watching CSI N.Y.  Lets face it people this one is way better then the other CSI shows.  Anyways every time the theme song comes on Clara comes running out and gives this wild girl scream and dances.  Sometimes E falls asleep to watching it and randomly wakes up and starts watching it again.  Last night he said it was about 2am and he starts watching it again and he hears Clara give her little scream and bounces in her bed.  This girl has such a personality,  I cant wait to hear the things she will tell me.

Hailey and I lately have been having these contests.  When its time to feed the twins she wants to do it.  She has helped me get the girls to learn to hold the bottles.  We have a contest to see which girl finishes and burps first.  She ALWAYS wins and it doesnt matter which twin she has!  Ok lets face it, I usually give them a fresh diaper before bottle so she starts feeding a little before me, but she loves beating me!

I also have to mention how proud E and I both are with Ryu.  It is in my opinion that FL has a higher standard in grade levels.  Ryu was at level in all subjects but reading.  From the start of the year his teacher has stated he is below level, but he is progessing so well and not to worry he'd be where he needs to be and just keep up with what we are doing at home.  But as time continued we would get told the same thing.  Eventually school was let out for Christmas and his teacher retired.  He didnt get a permanent teacher until 3 months later.  During which I was mega worried.  My kid is suffering from no having a permanent teacher and I worried that the subs werent going to do enough to help with his reading.  I know there is only so much a teacher can teach, but there is only so much that a parent can do from home too.  Anyways long story short...he got a new permanent teacher and he is AMAZING.  He cares about his students and will go out of the way for them to help them in the area's he needs.  He told E today that he pushed Ryu very hard yesterday in reading and he is exactly where he is suppose to be.  I didnt feel like I did anything different every night at home.  I honestly feel like his teacher gets the credit for pulling my boy to where he needs to be.

Back to my twins,  so lately they have really gotten to know there feets.  A lot of the times during the day I find them both playing with there feet.  Its the little things they do that  I have those proud moments of the new things they discover.  We are also trying out the latest breakfast of blueberry oatmeal, and peach cinnamon oatmeal.  I love getting batches prepared for the girls, it can be rather fun.  I mean since I love cooking and all, and not that it takes to much to make for them. Plus last week during spring break, it didnt dawn on me until the end of it, but I usually give them a solid and a hour or so later give the a bottle.  But man after eating there solid they were begging for more food!  Now we are eating 5oz each feeding.  I am gonna give it another week or so before we start trying those cereal puffs and a little juice!

Spring Break

I have to say this was probably the best spring break any of us have ever had!

My sister drove in during spring break and we got to spend everyday together.  We got to do things I have never done here in Florida too.

The first day that she drove in, we ate dinner and walked down to the park by our house and walking around the lake.  Then she drove to her resort and unloaded her bunch for the night.

Tuesday, was beach day!  We drove to the Clearwater Beach.  Boy was it gorgeous and the dive there was beautiful too.  We spend all day fun in the sun.  We had our sand toys and picnic, blanket and umbrella all set up for the day.  After we had spend hours there we loaded back up and made a pit stop for some ice cream and came back to our house, let the kiddos play for awhile and the Sanchez crew loaded up to go back to there resort.

Wednesday, was the day for Tampa's Lowry Park Zoo.  Now this zoo was pretty neat.  They had a splash area to cool off, a few rides and a lot of animals!  I think my top two exhibits were the monkeys that had a couple babies, and the bird feeding one.  Now I didnt go inside since I had the twins in the stroller and no strollers allowed but I got to watch.  Ryu soo brave he loved feeding them.  My sister however *giggle* not so much brave!  We also brought stuff to make sandwiches, outside of the zoo is a picnic area.  So we went to the picnic area ate and feed the twins before going back in for round 2.  We stayed the entire time until closing!  After that we came back to our house and unloaded the husbands and kids and Stacey and I went to the store to make  My MIL Famous tortilla soup.  We made dinner and my sister and her two big kids stayed the night.  After eating Richard and Beckett said there good byes and went back to the resort.  After picking up the kitchen Stacey and I sat down for a famous game of cards!

Thursday,  We all slowly got ready and by the time we were all done getting ready for the day Richard, Beckett, and Richard's mom got to the house.  We all loaded up and went to Chucky Cheese.  We had lots of fun couple hours.  This place was huge!  After that we parted ways with the Sanchez crew.  They went into Clearwater to meet the famous Dolphin named Winter.  We stayed back and did a few picking up around the house getting ready for Ryu's birthday party.  After the Sanchez crew came back from seeing Winter, they picked up my lil man to stay the night!

Friday, we decided it was time for us to have a house phone.  One day my Ryu asked me to write down my cell number so he can give it to his friends to call him.  I really didnt wanna bunch of chipmunks calling my phone all the time..lol So the cable guy came and gave us an upgraded internet and a DVR box and installed us a house phone (who knows why we didnt do this sooner being only 40 cents more a month)  After which we decided we were gonna take my 4 girls to the Aquarium here in Tampa.  And since GiGi had never been we wanted her to join us too.  Which in turn came poppy and uncle Neil too.  (insert)  On this day the Sanchez crew and Ryu went to DISNEY WORLD!  Now we originally made plans to go but one thing lead to another and we werent gonna go.  But a certain Aunt thought it was imperative that Ryu get to go.  Being his birthday and all.  It was an awesome aquarium lots of cool huge splash areas.  I can see ppl just going there just for the splash areas.  My favor part of the aquarium was the seahorse section.  Such cool and different kinds of Sea Horses!


Saturday,  Ryu's Birthday party!  Now I already wrote a whole blog on the party.  But it was also the day my sister left to travel back home.  I felt like she lived here.  Like I got to see her everyday like I use to when we lived in the same town.  But back to reality and hopefully days will pass when I get to see the Sanchez crew again.  I realized not to long after they left how I wanted to call them back bc there is one thing I regret not doing.  We never got to have a picture of the two of us!!!