new recipes tried and our newest love!

My sister son cant tolerate milk so she buys Almond milk.  I remember seeing some pins on pinterest about making your own.  So I decided I would try this baby out!!  So I have had my first glass...my verdict.  Well Its not something I will drink drink, I cant seem to get all the almonds out of it, its so fine that im not catching it all and its not a smooth drink.  BUT I will definitely eat a bowl of cereal with this and maybe even use it with smoothies.


I hav also been working on this natural cleaning solution.  Just orange peel and vinegar.  But it has to sit for two weeks.  It works great and smells amazing!!

I have tried lots of new recipes this week.  Although I didnt snap pictures.  I tried out Collard green soup.  Well I am not sure that I will make this for myself.  I'd rather have them in a salad.  I also made this tomato salad that has a bloody mary taste.  It really taste like it too (ok per the Husband) I am not sure ill make that again either.  Just is missing something.  IDK maybe needs avocados or something.   Then I tried this cucumber salad.  I am not sure I will make this either!  It was good but not excellent.  Like I would try looking for other peoples recipes but this one I tried just wasnt I have to have again.  I am gonna try to make a ratatouille tonight or tomorrow.  Just because I sooo wanna try this!  So far the only thing that I will definitely make again is Tortilla Soup.  My husband can eat this for a month straight!  This recipe come from my mother in law.  It was soo darn good.  Like it makes your nose run a bit at first but after eating half a bowl you get use to it.  Someone use to tell me that is how you know its good!!  Man just looking at this picture makes me wanna another bowl...which would require making another batch!  So glad that my MIL gave me this recipe!

So besides all the food talk, we have yet added to our family.  I use to have a Lab and he was stolen from me.  The most pain in the butt dog but I love him!  I have wanted another Lab pup for awhile.  I have had many dogs and well I am a bad dog person.  Like I see I want but once I have I just dont keep up with them.  I have thought maybe I just needed a small inside dog.  But shortly realized that wasnt the answer.  I am just not the mothering type to dogs and there is where E comes in.  He feeds and cleans dog mess...haha I am good with offering love.  So we have had for almost 2 weeks our newest family member Tess!  She is the most playful dog I have ever had.  She chases leaves, gets your toes and socks and does the whole tug a war.  She will make number 1 messes but 99 percent of the time its on her pee pad.  She will cry to let us know when its number 2 time so no messes in the house with that...which is totally awesome!!  Diesel likes her too.  One of the main reasons for getting her is for him to have someone to play with.  Of course he definitely doesnt want us to know she likes her.  The only time he plays with her is when we arent in the same room!!

Relationships

My Charming and I have kind of been talking about relations.  I dont want to come off acting like I know.  I know what I have been through.  I know what it was for me.  Each person has it different.  

I at one time in my life thought I had a fairy tale.  There was so much I couldnt say words that wouldnt come from out of my lips.  But so much you could read and just know from my eyes.  But even that can not be enough.  I had such standards a structured idea of what kind of fairy tale Prince Charming I wanted.  I didnt want a guy that smoked or dipped or drank and someone that didnt expect sex.  Sex frightened me.  So I just made sure each guy understand it wasnt going to happen dont try dont think about it because the only way it will happen is to be married.  When my very first fairy tale ended, I was left complete broken.  I didnt care about anything anymore.  My ideal knight and shinning armor erased what good would that kind of person do me.  Those things you read are just stories there not real and I should find someone that im content with someone that has some good and someone who's bad things they do I can tolerate.  It took me years to realize that I was content but I wasnt happy.  I tolerated things and I realized the person I was would never tolerate those things.

How do you know, and how can you deal with a loss of a relationship?  I cant really give you that answer.  For me I realize I have now been in 3 serious relationships.  2 of them I strongly felt like at first I was a prize. ( I have never seen me that way) for one of them I was a trophy I had the car, I worked full time, made my own money, I was in college I didnt depend on others.  I had standards of the guy I wanted and they showed me that guy.  They became that guy,  that guy they were is who I thought they were...until it became to hard to be that guy.  The person they were before me, well certain things came into there paths that brought the temptation of the old ways back, frankly the way I saw it they missed the old them.  I cant say they broke our relationship apart.  There were things I didnt do too.  I had the hardest time communicating.  I am not sure if my first fairy tale was because we were to young.  I didnt know how to say things.  I sometimes didnt even understand where my hurt was coming from until much later.  And I will never forget E asking me mom what was it that "she saw in him" my mom told him that it wasnt what she saw in him, its what he saw in her.  (he told me about this later I was present when they had this conversation).

What I learned is I needed to smile.  I didnt need someone to need me or love me.  I needed to laugh.  I needed to make new and happy memories.  I needed a friend.  I needed someone to work on me and listen to my life stories.  I needed to be selfish and have someone hold me when I cried, someone to be strong when I couldnt be the strong one anymore.  I stopped looking for love and just looked for someone to talk to to pass the time by and for me to heal for me to rediscover who I was.  As someone use to tell me I needed to spread my wings and learn to fly again. 

Ethan was just that person.  Sure I cant deny I had a lot of guys I talked to but they all wanted what every guy wants ya know sex haha.  I didnt care though I still talked to them even though they were never gonna get that from me.  So here I was crying, laughing, and smiling.  No this wasnt the smile that you perfect for pictures.  It was a real smile.  If you werent looking how my lips were you'd see the smile in my eyes.  I got to know Ethan for who he was.  I knew everything there was to know about him before we really started our relationship.  So the good the bad I knew and he knew those of mine.  So when it came to being in a relationship it wasnt hard to communicate.  Well things were hard to tell him more like admitting it myself was hard.  But I never hesitating telling them.  He knew from the get go how important it was to me for him to be him no changing.  Which was as it turns out something kind of important to him too.  He had some past relationships where the girls he dated didnt like certain things he did.  Like he had a girl who had him wear preppy clothes, to having his hair/facial a certain way.  In some way or another he couldnt exactly let lose be comfortable with who he was with the past girlfriends.

So for me, that person that was it for me, was someone who loved me for me and someone that I could talk to about anything even if I knew it would hurt them I could still talk to them about it.  Plus for me I needed to be so important to them, bc honestly I am pretty bad about caring about myself.  (SN what I mean is like on xmas eve I had a spider bite and I just wanted to plant my feet and not go to the ER but he made E made me go, it bothered him that I didnt care about myself enough to go and honestly I am so glad we ended up going).  No changing for him or for me. At least the changing was not going to be because of me it has to be because its something they wanted.

Ok enough love talk!

  

a little re-visit to the past

Every once in awhile I re-visit my past.  Ever person has been through so much to be where they are today.  I cant say that I have been through a lot, you may think so.  Its been a journey.  I envy people that say they miss the High School days.  I do not.  I hated it.  Well I cant say I hated it.  I just didnt cherish it at all.  I was there to learn.  I didnt stop in between classes to chat.  It was 5 minutes to and from each class.  I dont know how ppl stopped to talk without being late all the time.  I rushed from one class to the other.  Sometimes stopping to switch books from my locker.  Ok I can say out of High School I enjoyed my Sophomore year the most.  I finally was at the same school as my sister (again) we went to the same school together in elementary days.  I reconnected with my S.F.L. from Jr High days (altho we were in school longer then that, thats just when we started being some what friends)  If it wasnt for her and my sister I wouldnt have lunch buddies.  I will forever remember walking with Amanda to the whole in the wall place and her getting French Fries and always shared them with me!  After Sophomore year she and I lost touch, she eventually moved to the Dallas area so Junior and Senior year pretty much sucked.  My sis graduated and I lost a friend.

My little sister and I use to be so close.  Of course now she tends to forget a lot of her childhood and no offense little sister you tend to only remember the sucky things about growing up!  She was down right spoiled by us/ by everyone!  Ok maybe she didnt see it that way.  But when Stacey still lived with us she would always pick her up from school so she wouldnt have to walk home and when it was me, our friend KimBo who lived down the street from us, she'd take me home and swing by SJ to get heather.  Then when I drove i'd make sure to get her.  That girl never had to walk home.  I loved having a little sister.  We watched over her.  Helped her with homework, dealt with some of the bullies, gossiped about the boys she dated and liked.  When Stacey married and moved out,  Heather and I'd dbl date go to the movies go walking the malls well everything you and your B.F.F. would do!  Well what can I say I may not have always had a BFF but I always had my sisters.  Then Heather grew up moved out and we werent as close anymore.  But there was a point when she and I was close again.  When Justin left me, she was there for me.  Included me in here nightly funs with her girl friends.  I felt like the kid and was looking up to her haha.  Then she got in a serious relationship whom she eventually married and we again arent as close anymore.  I do have so great memories with her though.

I had some of the best summers, some people would say think we were rich or spoiled stuck up girls.  We always went to California.  I didnt see it the way other people saw it.  They'd all say man you are so lucky.  I didnt see what the big deal I was just going to my second home.  It was 90% of the time with my big sister Stacey.  We had some adventures there.  Somethings only she would get and understand.  Our Aunts made sure we had fun.  When we were smaller we did whatever we could the whole summer to earn money.  What did we do with our money?  We bought gifts to give to our sisters and mom when we came back!  I think its funny now that we always would buy things for everyone else when we had money, we never got ourselves something.  Growing up people always thought Stacey and I were twins.  We were the same height but total opposites!  She had brown hair and eyes and I had blonde and blue eyes.  We always and still call each other twinkies!  These days I can say she is probably the only person that I can talk over the phone for hours with and not even realize a couple hours have past haha until we hang up!  We like doing so many of the same things.  I loved being able to cook and try new things with her and even doing our crafts together.  Somethings didnt always turn out but when it didnt we would sure have a good laugh about it.

I had to think.  What is it that dreamed about being or having when you grew up..and are you currently at that moment in your life?  I asked my Husband that last night.  Is he happy?  Is this what you wanted or pictured your life to be like.  He is so black and white.  I love that about him.  It is what it is.  I can be mad or not like something and not wanna go out of my way for someone ever again but I do anyways.  He does what he says no regrets or looking back.  He told me he was happy and he never really dreamed about what he wanted because he took it all in one day at a time and appreciates what he has right infront of him.  Of course I dont really remember details in what I dreamed of having one day.  But I know I wanted someone to love me for who I am and to be a mom and have a husband that compliments me, picks up where I slack and is a loving father who can bring structure and love.

Baby Girl turning 5

Today we celebrated Hailey's 5th birthday.  There were a lot of things that probably under most circumstances upset or stress me out.  You know things that didnt go as planned.  Some of the gifts we ordered before Christmas had not even shipped yet.  Then I thought well no biggie she will just get to celebrate all week!!  Then everyone started to get sick in our house.  BUMMER.  But all in all these are just things that I couldnt control.  So I am definitely one to not let things buggers me when I cant control it.   So E was setting a few things up outside while I happily put finger foods together and E kept bugging me to get the Jumpy place's number worrying since it was getting closer to when they were going to deliver it and I kept thinking you worry wart they will be here.  Welp I finally got the number and low and behold they misplaced our order and no jumpy!  Of course E wasnt having it and found someone else to get us one and we ended pushing the party a little later on which worked out for everyone.

Great little party!  Great company and my lil girl had a blast with a smile on her face all day.  We had finger foods and Hubs grilled us dogs and burgers and then we had cake.  At the end of it all my sweet Clara girl just helped herself to some cake..

Winter break nearing its end

We have had some great times during Ryu's winter break.  Gigi took me, Ryu and Hailey to go see Frozen.  It was such a great movie!  I absolutely loved this movie.  It comes out in March and I cant wait to own this and re-watch it.  The kids and I have youtube this a few times after seeing the movie.  I wonder if this is one of the movies I enjoyed more then them!  I wish I had grabbed a picture of us at the theaters.  I loved how it seemed like years had passed by but being face to face its as if time had changed nothing between them.  Although I kinda wished the older sister had found someone to love her too.  But it would be totally awesome if they made a second movie!!

Charming and I also got to have a date...grocery shopping!  haha Gigi came over to watch the kids while we went to fill our fridge.   Scoot also tagged a long with us.  Once we got home they blew fire works up while I put things away and Gigi tended to the twins.  After they blew up fire works  Ryu got the men to help build lego's with him.

Today the kids and I played Guess Who.  I loved playing this game growing up.  We also got to do Skype with my Sister Stacey and her kiddos and after that we got to Skype my mama.

Today is also a day I tend to pass over.  I dont really want to remember the day my Aunt left us.  I want to remember the day she was here the day she arrived.  But all in all how can you forget it, this day changed my life forever.