Birthday

Today is my honey's birthday!  This is our 3 year together celebrating!!  We have had a fun few days celebrating with all the family.  This kids woke up him up this morning with the cards they worked very hard on.

My Prince charming.  I am so lucky to be spending this day with him and many more.  I love waking up at any time of the night knowing he is right beside me.  I have known E since we were in the 5th grade.  We were 10.  I wont forget the days of him getting on the bus.  Me already seated looking out the window.  Then I hear nothing but silence I look up and I already know why.  Ethan Huchton has just walked on the bus and every girl has stopped talking/holding there breathe to see who he will sit with.  Well I wasnt one of them I knew he'd never sit with me.  Although I thought he was the most mysterious attractive male I knew I'd never get the chance to date him.  I knew I wasnt on him radar of girls to date.  So I never day dreamed of the impossiblity.  I remember the first few real conversations with  him.  I was dating his friend Ray Henry.  Ray and Ethan would come up together to talk before school started.  One day Ethan came with out him and asked me why I didnt wear make up.  I told him I didnt really have an answer IDK I just never thought about it.  He then said you should you would look prettier with make up on and walked away.  Now I know most girls would have been totally crushed but I knew he was right.  So I started to wear make up.  After that conversation days/weeks later Ray calls me E is hanging out and E gets on the phone talks to me and then I hear him say "dude your right she sounds way hotter over the phone!" again Im sure most girls would have been crushed but I thought to myself he is right.

I remember when myspace was real big and I friended him.  He never chatted with me then.  But then he came into my life.  I asked him to be my friend on FB and I had no intentions of ever chatting with him.  I was sure I was a forgotten memory he'd prolly have no clue who I was.  But he messaged me and we instantly started to talk.  If you know me I am a text kind of person.  E would call I wouldnt answer.  Sometimes when I was bored and the kids were playing or sleeping I'd answer and for some reason hours would pass.  Before I knew it I loved him.  I didnt expect that.  I for the longest time saw him as just someone to talk too.  I wasnt going to let myself day dream he lived in FL I was in TX.  He came when I needed him the most he had so much patience to help me through such a hard time in my life.  He is my rock he never gave up on me.

Now here we are in FL with 5 kids and I cant picture our life without him.  We have such good memories together laughing and smiling.  He is the best father to all of our kids.  He is made for me and I am made for him.  So here is to one of the many birthdays we will get to celebrate. Happy Birthday to my prince charming.  I love you.

Dinner

Yesterday was such a fun day although by the time it at all took place I was so sleepy...I should have taken me a mini nap!

Well before the Hubs went to the store we searched pinterest for a dinner we wanted to make and a dessert.  We decided on a dinner my sister said she made and it came out fabulous.  A chicken fajita cooked in the over. And since we were doing a Mexican dinner charming wanted to make his mom's Pico de Gallo.
Hubs took the girls to the store and I cleaned up the house, swept, mopped, dishes, laundry and the what nots.  Once he got home we got right to chopping!  That night we'd have his mom, step dad, brother, and his husband over for dinner.  This took place because my lil man requested to eat dinner with GiGi.

After we were done chopping we but together the dinner and charming went to go get lil man from school while I feed the girls.  As soon as I was done with that Hailey and I went straight to baking the dessert we picked from pinterest as well!  And boy did it turn out super fabulous.  My picky boy even ate it up!  Carrot Cheese Cake

After all said and done we had great company and a good time together.  Kids got to enjoy there Uncles and GiGi and Poppy.  

My Girls

I am sure a few are wondering and a few already know.  I figured instead of repeating this over and over again its just easier to explain it on here.

As I have mentioned in one of my blogs, the girls have these episodes.  It can occur as little as 5 minutes after eating and as late as 3 hours (right before next feeding).  What happens is I hear a yelp and there face is red turning purple and there eyes start to bulge out, they arch there backs and cant get air into there lungs.

There pediatrician had us on some Med's and thicken feeds.  That didnt change these episodes so he sent us to a Gastrointestinal Specialist.  When we went to the appointment they wanted to run some tests on the girls that required them to be admitted.

The first test ran was a ph probe. It was to see how to determine the amount of acid reflux in there esophagus.  It takes 24 hours.  This test came out negative.  So they wanted to run another test.

This test was done with the Pulmonologist.  He did a sleep test.  Which is done at night.  They only had one machine available so Skyler did it the first night and Gemma the next night.  This test was to determine if the girls are holding there breathe or if there brain isnt telling them to breathe.

So after this test was done we were released.  We are to see this specialist within 3 weeks to go over the test results.  The results should be in this week.  If there is something of concern they will contact us sooner.  They also sent us home with apnea monitors.  These monitors track there breathing and heart rate.  They will be on this for a month (when we go to the Pulmonolgist we will see if they need to continue to be on them)

We still need to follow up with the Gastro Doctor as well in 2 weeks.

All the days blurred into one day for me there.  Honestly I wasnt stressed or scared while staying there with the girls.  I have dealt with these episodes for awhile now its just part of life now with them.  I was happy being there, knowing we would get something done and find some type of answer for these episodes.  I never left there room.

While there I got to see my girls give me smiles through all there testing.  I grabbed a picture of Sky smiling but I never could get to my phone fast enough to get one of Gemma.

 I had volunteers come to my room everyday that I was there.  They were so awesome.  One of the ladies brought two Halloween balloons.  And another lady come to play music (she played the harp).

 A few of the stinkers while there was there stinkin foot monitors these girls are such movers and kickers I eventually gave up trying to get them to stay on and just toned out the beeping.  The other thing I had a hard time watching was then taking there temp by sticking it in there booty.  OUCH.

the last few days

I know I am lucky I havent lost many loved ones in my life, but the ones I have were the most important people in my life.  I am glad I havent experienced many, which means I have grown up and still have many wonderful people through out my life.  SO I dont have many missing pieces that need to be filled.

Finally starting to feel better about the girls.  Its scary when they cant seem to get enough air in there lungs and they arch there backs and I cant get them to suck air in fast enough or comfort them enough and it wares them out!  Gemma was getting worse then Skyler. Athough it started to happen to Skyler first Gemma's spells were a lot worse.  She seems to be a Daddys girl already.  When Daddy is home he can comfort her when its just me the breathing issue last longer.  So Friday we had another Doctor visit.  We have medicine for both girls now and another doctor looking into there issue.  I am so thankful I have been alert and there for them when there are going through the cant breathing spell and not in another room or outside.  I am hoping I never have them both doing it at the same time and im without their Daddy.  They are growing soo quickly and I have to admit that Gemma is now starting to look more and more like her sister!

This last weekend.  Nothing was planned and I kept waiting to hear E tell me he was gonna go fishing or go hang with the guys.  Instead I woke up to him rearranging the house.  We spent most of the day cleaning and moving things to making the house seem more open and inviting.  We also had one of his brothers stop by.  First time they saw the girls.

Sunday we went to the Flea Market.  My very first time.  Some of the things there looked like a garage sell type and others looks like ppl went and bought things that were at the end of season and got it for very very cheap and try to sell in there.  Pretty cool and interesting.  We went with E other brother and his husband.  After the Market they took the kids to get a costume and E and I went home to fry up some squash to go with our pulled pork lunch that we enjoyed the company of Warren and Harold.  I however crashed out shortly when they went to find Ryu's costume.

Yesterday was just as fun!  We went to eat at E moms house for Pumpkin Meat loaf.  We actually had a lot of pumpkin to our meal.  We had a salad with pumpkin seeds and Harold brought over a delicious pumpkin cake!  We did the pumpkin meat loaf last year in Midland and its definitely something I wanna do every year!  (this tradition comes from E's family) after we had our awesome dinner, we carved pumpkins.  Such a fun night!! 
(altho I didnt grab a picture of the meat loaf this picture below is off google looks very similar to the one we had last night)

My Daddy

I am sad that I do not remember what it was like for my dad to live with us.  For me all I remember was our weekend visits. It was shortly after Heather was born that my mom and dad separated (so around age 3 for me)

My Dad was a truck driver.  We lived in Midland and he lived in Odessa.  My mom would either meet him at a truck stop or he would come get us from Midland.  We girls would always fight who got to sit in the front seat with him, we eventually took turns each weekend.  We had a routine.  On the weekends we spent with him each Friday we would go to Walmart.  My Dad had been gone from his house so he wouldnt have food.  So we would get food from the store.  Ever Friday we would eat the same meal.  He'd get a roasted chicken and french bread and we would watch X-files.  After watching our "show" we would stay up listening to our dad tell us stories that we all desperately tried to stay up to listen to, but would fall asleep to our dad's voice.  Now looking back sometimes I wonder if the stories were real or away to teach us life lessons.  One of the stories my daddy told us was that we were a pack of wolves and in the pack of wolves they stick together and how we all need to stick together.  Or he told me that I was the owl of the family.  That owls sit and observe and know all secrets and that I need to learn to keep others secrets.

Going to my dad's house on the weekends were such cherished memories and something we looked forward too.  I feel bad for my little sister because she doesnt remember any of those times.  We stopped getting to see our dad when we were around 8-9.  The reasoning behind that is a story I wont share.  But know that my dad and mom would have kept up the weekend visits.  We tried to go see our dad once a year on Thanksgiving if he wasnt out hauling pipe.  We would beg our mom to let us take a plate of our thanksgiving feast to him.  Sometimes not very often I am not even sure it was every year, my dad would call the house.  And he would talk to us girls like nothing had changed it was him giving us advise about things.  Sometimes it seemed like some how when he called it would be the right time when we needed to hear his voice or get the advise he gave.

The last memory of our dad was him taking us girls to dinner at the Olive Garden.  I think my dad was the owl on this visit.  He sat there and listen to all of our chatters.  I miss those nights where we would stay up just to listen to his stories.

The year my dad died.  I kept having dreams that we wouldnt know he had passed away and would find out in a newspaper.  One night I got a call from my Aunt.  I remember saying out loud something is wrong my aunt wouldnt call this late.  Thats when she told me she had been on the phone with my mom and that someone was beeping on her other line.  It had been my dad's sister.  My dad lived on his brothers property and he hadnt seen my dad in a few days and found him.  We dont know why or how he died.  Other then he looked to have been asleep.  By the time we found out that an autopsy wasnt going to be done by the city it was to late for us to have one done.  We thought it had been related to a fall.  My dad had been on workers comp due to a fall he had.  He was climbing his later up to his cab and slipped and hit his head.  He didnt have any life insurance and if we could have proved his death was from that fall, his work had life insurance but since the brain is the first to go all we would have gotten from an autopsy is "it could be but I cant say for certain" So it was up to his daughters and our mom to pull together funds for the funeral.  However his boss covered the funeral expenses for him  (one of the nicest things to have been blessed upon us girls)

My daddy.  One of the things I miss the most is sometimes to make us laugh.  He'd say rink a dink a doo and wiggling his finger to touch our noses.  

This is my daddy fast asleep while my twinky and I play right beside him.

I have to touch on my Husband's dad.  I met him but I didnt really know him.  He was one of my Sunday school teachers.  But he was the world to Ethan.  I have heard so many great stories and adventures he and Ethan had together.  From all the stories I have heard I wished I had had something close to that growing up.  He'd make something out of nothing. E misses the jokes and pranks he'd pull and his view on life and the world.  E says he misses his polish sandwiches and his nacho's. He misses working with him and going camping with him.  How he passed away is a story reserved just for E to tell. But one thing I can say is he hates the fact it was him that found him.  In a lot of ways it changed his whole life when his dad died.  The world lost someone amazing.  Below is a picture of E dad, his sister Kate and E wearing glasses like his dad. (already trying to be just like his daddy)

 

My Tia

My Aunt.  I am one of the few lucky people who can say I had the chance to have a special bond with my Aunt.  Her name...Ruthie.  Those that were close with her know her as fufi.  Ok well those of us that knew her as a baby couldnt say Ruthie we said fufi.  Even when we knew how to say her  name she was still fufi.  She was my second mother.  She was a grandma to my children.

I dont like talking on the phone.  I am a text type of person.  I can express myself in the written form so much better.  There are really only two people im good with having a conversation about nothing with. That is my sister Stacey and Ruthie.   See she lived 24 hours away from me.  I lived in Texas she lived in California.  So we had to call to talk to each other.  When we didnt have much money and there wasnt any specials on the whole long distant calling we had to limit our calls to once a week every Sunday.  But that all changed and I talked to her everyday hour or two would go by and we were still talking away.  Who knows really what are conversations were about we could easily talk to each other.  If I didnt know something she would.

She told me that my mom came to live with her when I was about 6 months old.  And that she would help my mom get me in the middle of the night.  Ever since then I would go see each every year every summer until she passed away.  There are soo many things that she taught me.  Part of my personality I got from her.  She had a room we all called the work room.  Its where we learned to make crafts and sew. She was the one who really got us to go to church.  During the summers we would make all sorts of crafts.  Anything you needed to make a craft with she had in her work room.

Honestly one post couldnt not be enough to tell the person she was to me.  I was going through such a hard emotion time in 2010.  Well towards the end.  Which was towards the end of her days.  We didnt know it.  I went to see her during an unusual time frame from Aug- Oct.  Towards the end of my stay there she started to lose her vision in one of her eyes.  I remember her worrying that if she lost her vision in one of her eyes she wouldnt be able to drive.  That thought was so depressing for her.  She went to the eye dr and they didnt know what was going on.  She started to go see the eye dr every week because it was so unusual she got second opinions and more opinions and they couldnt figure out what it was.  It got so bad that she ended up in the hospital.  But we still talked everyday.  I knew she was gonna be ok and they'd get her better.  I remember even talking to her in the hospital.  They thought it was the west nile at first. But in the end it was cancer that took her from us.  She had gotten her check ups to see if it had come back and the tests came back negative, they did spinal taps and still couldnt figure it out.  Some how they figured it out to late.  The cancer had gone to her brain.  I keep thinking how could I have not figured that out.  I mean her eye brain...well I wasnt the only one the Dr didnt know either and at the point of finding out she was so weak she couldnt take the treatment.  My mom had gone to be with her for a short time before she passed. She told my mom (her being so weak she was in and out of consciousness and sometimes talking in a daze or a dream state) but she had told my mom to tell the girls to pray for each other because each of us were dealing with something we had not told each other.

She was right.  I was dealing with something.  Something it took me awhile to tell my family.  My then Husband had asked me for a divorce.  I couldnt tell anyone.  I am the type of person that doesnt like to show my pain or much emotion.  I hate burdening people.  And it was the worst time to tell anyone.  Everyone was dealing with such a hardship of Ruthie in the hospital to her passing away that alone was devastating.  I do have to clearify this post isnt about Justin.  But I was in no way at fault.  He had been in training for the National Guards.  Lets just say he came home from christmas with another womens name tattoo to his arm.  I also just want to state that I still tried to keep our marriage together.  In the end it was out of my hands.  Back on track here..I find it amazing that through so much pain she still knew that we needed her and told my mom to tell us to pray for each other.  My mom told us all this after she had passed.  Just hearing that brought so much love to me after she was gone.

Those of us that she has touched have forever been changed.  Our life isnt whole anymore.  When I close my eyes the memories I have come flooding flooding back to me.  I see us as my children's age sleeping on her sleeper sofa and she is reading to us stories.  I see us asking her to build us a fort and she make this amazing fort in her living room for us.  I see us sneaking in her room and her opening her arm up for us to crawl in bed beside her, and my aunt Steffie come to bring us all breakfast in bed. I see us going outside to water her flowers and her garden we all loved.  I see her playing her bagpipes or the drum marching down the street.  I see her taking us to the county fair every summer.  I see us dancing in her house.  This is me hugging Ruthie and my sister singing into the broom (what u cant see is her pup is chasing the broom, he had his own broom too)

The people that are gone

Late at night I always go over the things that I did that day its away I fall asleep.  I thought of all the things I wanted to blog about and most times by morning I forget..lol  I also thought that this blog is for a lot of people to get to know who I am and for my family that isnt close to where I live.  Some of which do not know of the people who arent in my life anymore.  So I decided that the next few days I'd write about those people.

I do not have any grandparents.  I didnt get the privilege of knowing what it was like having me a Grandma and Papa.  When I talk about them I tend to say My mom's mom instead of Grandma.  I feel bad but I dont know her as a grandma.  My mom's mom passed away before I was born and my Grandpa died shortly after I was born.  Well I dunno how old I was but it was before Heather was born so before I was 3.  I have no memory of him but my mama happened to have a picture of us girls with him.  Below is a picture of my moms dad, Stacey, me, and Jamie

On my dads side of the family, his dad passed away before my mom and him even married.  His mom, I met once.  She didnt want to have anything to do with us girls since we have a Mexican background.

My children.  Well they have grandparents.  But my children never got the chance to meet my dad.  Or my Husband's dad.  But we both have step dads that get to be apart of their

life.  I am glad that they are getting the chance to know what its like to have a love for grandparents.  Its something I will never get the chance to have or even understand what its like to love a grandparent. This below is a picture of my daddy, me, Heather, Jamie and Stacey 

And this is my Husband his brothers his sister and his dad

I do have to touch that I did get a chance to start to love my ex husbands granny and papa.  I will forever cherish the days in Llano with them.  I learned a lot from them.  The kind of things that you would think you would learn from a grandparent. His granny taught me somethings I didnt know how to do with crocheting and she told me some recipes that I use a lot in my kitchen.  I learned a lot from Papa too.  I miss hearing him play on the guitar.  I miss sitting outside on the porch.  I will always consider them grandparents to myself as well as to the big kids even if im not married to this family anymore.  I hope one day I will get the chance to sit outside that porch again.

This is Granny and Papa.  (I stole this pic off granny profile, I dont have any picture of Papa on the computer all hard copies and this one is perfect since it has them both)