Ryu

I have such a love for my children.  I love each of them dearly.  I am thankful each day for my little loves.  I may not know what I'd go to college for and I have always wondered if and when I get a degree what it would be for, but I've always known I have wanted to be a mother.

Ryu, my first born.  I am amazed at the person is becoming.  When he was little he loved to be naked and didnt need a friend to play with and he even didnt need to see me in the same room at all times (like my others have)

When his dad and I separated he became a handful. When i'd tell him not to do something, he would get angry ball up his fist and yell at me.  I was at such a loss.  I didnt know what to do or how to help him over come all of his frustration.  A lot of people saw this struggle and no one was able to get through to him.  The person I give credit to helping him was my mom.  Grandma has always been loving and really never getting on to the kids and for grandma to lay the law down surprised Ryu and she told him how much I loved him and how much it hurt for him to treat me that way.  After that day he became better.  It was when Ethan came into there lives providing structure and guidance in away I have never been able to do for them.

Ryu has helped me over come my fears of letting him go.  Ok well letting him go to school and not be so paranoid.  It was hard dropping him off at school not seeing him being secure in a class room.  I've seen all the kids and how easily you could get lost and it overwhelmed me.  He assures me that he is ok and not to worry so much about that.

I see such a smart side of him.  He surprised me at how fast he is able to catch on to the new things he is learning.  I however have seen him get so frustrated.  I am blessed to have Ethan.  When I dont seem to be able to help Ryu understand something and I give up Ethan comes in and talks to him and helps him understand what I cant.

I absolutely love to read.  It has always been a passion for me since I was Ryu's age.  I can only hope that all of my children learn to love to read too.  I know and have seen the struggles of others that do not read very well or understand the things  they read.  I can only hope that Ryu keeps up his love for reading.  It surprises me how excited he gets over the new books he gets.

My Ryu can be emotional sometimes.  I think he is still trying to under how to show what he is feeling.  But because of this he has a want to please you.  In a lot of ways I see good from this but I know it will also be something that causes him to struggle when he gets older.  He tries to say what you want to hear and doesnt always say what he feels because he doesnt want you to get hurt.

Ryu has gone from being such a picky eater to being one of our best eaters in the house!  Some days I see him being a typical boy and eating a lot more then what I expect.

There was a time when we struggled with listening to the rules but he has become such a respectful boy. In this I wish I had more words to describe how well he is behaved.  The other day I told him if he wanted to eat his breakfast bar in the living room he could.  He told me he couldnt.  He didnt want to get dad upset with him.  I had already forgotten how E had told the kids no more snacking in the living room.  (totally gross mess under the couch lots of crumbs).  Or how we have a new rule of bring us the movie they are done watching to get a new one.  We have had a problem with leaving disks laying around and even Clara getting a hold of them like a toy.  He has been very good at bringing them back to us.

I can see a wonderful young man that he is going to be and it scares me to death.  Why...?  Bc one day I am going to lose having him home.  One day he is going to grow up and have a family of his own and the idea of me not getting to see him all of the time breaks my heart!  But I know within this,  there is nothing I can do to stop time and with him growing I will get to experience pure joy from him and me showing and feel so proud of him and the man is going to be.

Ok so I totally intended to write an entire blog on all 5 of my children and I some how was able to write an entire blog of just one of my joys.so until the next one!