Saturday, January 11, 2014

a little re-visit to the past

Every once in awhile I re-visit my past.  Ever person has been through so much to be where they are today.  I cant say that I have been through a lot, you may think so.  Its been a journey.  I envy people that say they miss the High School days.  I do not.  I hated it.  Well I cant say I hated it.  I just didnt cherish it at all.  I was there to learn.  I didnt stop in between classes to chat.  It was 5 minutes to and from each class.  I dont know how ppl stopped to talk without being late all the time.  I rushed from one class to the other.  Sometimes stopping to switch books from my locker.  Ok I can say out of High School I enjoyed my Sophomore year the most.  I finally was at the same school as my sister (again) we went to the same school together in elementary days.  I reconnected with my S.F.L. from Jr High days (altho we were in school longer then that, thats just when we started being some what friends)  If it wasnt for her and my sister I wouldnt have lunch buddies.  I will forever remember walking with Amanda to the whole in the wall place and her getting French Fries and always shared them with me!  After Sophomore year she and I lost touch, she eventually moved to the Dallas area so Junior and Senior year pretty much sucked.  My sis graduated and I lost a friend.


My little sister and I use to be so close.  Of course now she tends to forget a lot of her childhood and no offense little sister you tend to only remember the sucky things about growing up!  She was down right spoiled by us/ by everyone!  Ok maybe she didnt see it that way.  But when Stacey still lived with us she would always pick her up from school so she wouldnt have to walk home and when it was me, our friend KimBo who lived down the street from us, she'd take me home and swing by SJ to get heather.  Then when I drove i'd make sure to get her.  That girl never had to walk home.  I loved having a little sister.  We watched over her.  Helped her with homework, dealt with some of the bullies, gossiped about the boys she dated and liked.  When Stacey married and moved out,  Heather and I'd dbl date go to the movies go walking the malls well everything you and your B.F.F. would do!  Well what can I say I may not have always had a BFF but I always had my sisters.  Then Heather grew up moved out and we werent as close anymore.  But there was a point when she and I was close again.  When Justin left me, she was there for me.  Included me in here nightly funs with her girl friends.  I felt like the kid and was looking up to her haha.  Then she got in a serious relationship whom she eventually married and we again arent as close anymore.  I do have so great memories with her though.


I had some of the best summers, some people would say think we were rich or spoiled stuck up girls.  We always went to California.  I didnt see it the way other people saw it.  They'd all say man you are so lucky.  I didnt see what the big deal I was just going to my second home.  It was 90% of the time with my big sister Stacey.  We had some adventures there.  Somethings only she would get and understand.  Our Aunts made sure we had fun.  When we were smaller we did whatever we could the whole summer to earn money.  What did we do with our money?  We bought gifts to give to our sisters and mom when we came back!  I think its funny now that we always would buy things for everyone else when we had money, we never got ourselves something.  Growing up people always thought Stacey and I were twins.  We were the same height but total opposites!  She had brown hair and eyes and I had blonde and blue eyes.  We always and still call each other twinkies!  These days I can say she is probably the only person that I can talk over the phone for hours with and not even realize a couple hours have past haha until we hang up!  We like doing so many of the same things.  I loved being able to cook and try new things with her and even doing our crafts together.  Somethings didnt always turn out but when it didnt we would sure have a good laugh about it.


I had to think.  What is it that dreamed about being or having when you grew up..and are you currently at that moment in your life?  I asked my Husband that last night.  Is he happy?  Is this what you wanted or pictured your life to be like.  He is so black and white.  I love that about him.  It is what it is.  I can be mad or not like something and not wanna go out of my way for someone ever again but I do anyways.  He does what he says no regrets or looking back.  He told me he was happy and he never really dreamed about what he wanted because he took it all in one day at a time and appreciates what he has right infront of him.  Of course I dont really remember details in what I dreamed of having one day.  But I know I wanted someone to love me for who I am and to be a mom and have a husband that compliments me, picks up where I slack and is a loving father who can bring structure and love.

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